I'd like to know.

often times people lose sight of how they got to where they are. yes yes, we are all concerned about ourselves, become so focused on what we're doing to survive and where we're headed that we hardly have any time to figure out where we came from because we see the past as being something left behind. why look back if where we need to be looking is forward, right?

well, i think when it comes to family. you ought to know where you're coming from or, in this case, where you've come from. some may disagree and believe that all that matters is the here and now. and, i understand that. i just find it interesting to learn about how others (especially family members; uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc.) got to where they are now.

i'm closer to my mother's side of the family than i am with my dad's, but that could be because i saw them more often as i was growing up. on my mom's side, her dad (grandpa eustacio) had 15 children from 5 different women. my mom's mom or my grandma (priscilla) was the second wife and of the 15 children gave birth to 4 (3 boys and 1 girl). one of my goals is to actually make a family tree, but LORD knows how much research and time i'm going to need on my side to accomplish that.

of my mom's brothers and herself, i'm the second to the youngest grandchild. but keep in mind, that's just this certain group. my grandpa died right before i was heading to the philippines for a somewhat of a family reunion back in '94. this reunion ended up being for his funeral instead. he had a girlfriend that was in her twenties. she could have easily been mistaken for his caretaker but then again i wouldn't be surprised if she was his girlfriend. my grandma died in '07 but she was diagnosed with alzheimer's disease years before, so she didn't remember us(her grandkids) at all for her last 5 years of her life.

i'm trying to cut as much out to get to the point, so bare with me.

growing up i've heard snippets of how it was back in the philippines with this love/lust craze or obsession my grandpa had with women. i mean spreading your seed throughout a city had to be tough. growing up with 3 very different older brothers had to be tough. being poor had to be tough. not having a dad around had to be tough. nothing is ever easy, of course, but given the circumstances things were beyond tough. life was shitty, i'm sure.

i've always wanted to be able to ask my grandparents on both sides how their lives were like and what they would have done differently. but, i'll never get to. i was too young when they were around to ask the questions i'd like to ask now. i've never met my grandpas. my mom's mom passed like i said and my dad's mom has alzheimer's too now. i went to visit my dad's mom years ago to stay with her for a couple weeks and i vaguely remember asking her what it was like in the past. she would answer me in humms and grunts as if she were trying not to bring back those memories. i could tell in her eyes that she drifted away only to come back and continue cooking. so, all I have left to ask about what it was like are my uncles, aunts, and mom and dad.

but since i am just mentioning my mom's side, i'm referring to my uncles and my mom. i'm blessed that the four of them are still active. my uncle junn is happily married to his second wife, auntie emma, in alhambra and they like to travel. my uncle beto is known as the quiet one of the family, but he is married to auntie irene and resides in carson. my uncle donny is married to auntie evangeline (but we call her auntie gel) and they live down the street. uncle donny loves playing basketball, collecting jordans, and playing mah jong with his friends (i think i spelled it right). my mom... well, that's a whole other chapter.

so with all of this said, i'll be interviewing them about their lives. i don't know how i'm going to get to uncle beto, but we'll see. somehow, someday, and some way i'll put it altogether. now THAT'S going to be an interesting read or documentary.

why? why NOT? i'd like to know who they truly are without thinking about their title as just another uncle. we all have stories and i know they're no different. i want to be able to pass these stories on to the next generation who couldn't ask these questions either because they were too young or they didn't exist yet. people have heroes whom they've never met before and are icons through the public eye. my heroes are my family and i want to know more about them. i truly love them.