friends. how many of us have them? (sorry, i had to put that.) for some reason, i've found myself thinking of all the friendships i have had throughout my life so far. and as far as i know, friendships are learning processes. you meet people. you like them. you don't like them. you befriend some. and those that you befriend, you form a type of kinship with them. you can relate to them, be it that they share the same music that you do or on a serious note the same values and beliefs. unfortunately, there may be times where you may not be on the same page as them after years of knowing them. just like relationships with a boyfriend or girlfriend, friendships sail away too. some may sail away in a perfect storm while others just needed to walk away without negative intentions.
sucks when that happens, but what can you do?
i think i speak for everyone when i say "we all go through phases". but one phase in particular that i want to address, is how your time is spent as far as friendships go or relations with the opposite sex.
we all go through some type of relationship that fucks us up in the end. then in turn we analyze the time we spent and say "damn, i did this and this.. and stopped hanging out with my friends" yadda yadda and etc. etc. i can't knock it because i did it. i see and have seen my friends do it. i see other people trying to warn other friends of doing that (spending too much time with a certain person). but, being the understanding person that i am, i look at situations from all angles. or at least try to. if you enjoy someone's company and want to be with that person however many days out of the week, you're going to do so regardless of what anybody tells you. and, as much as i say this about any action. it's the truth. if you're going to jump because you want to jump and others tell you not to, you're not going to do it just to spite them (let's hope not). but you're more than likely going to do it because it feels right to you and you simply "want" to. nobody's holding a gun to your head (let's hope not).
every person that has gone through a relationship where they regret their time that they didn't evenly balance out with friends and their significant other has vowed to themselves of not repeating those "dark times". understandable. once again, a learning experience. i'm not one of those friends to tell a friend "hey dude. wtf?" because i'm not anyone to tell a friend how to spend their time. and i wouldn't expect someone to tell me the same thing. now, if i'm being ridiculous or retarded and my significant other is beating me and i'm using some lame excuse of "oh, i ran into the punch".. then PLEASE, step in.
i think i put it into my important things to remember to do list to make sure to balance my time spent with friends and my significant other. just going off past mistakes. it'll turn out beneficial though. stay humble with friends and cherish the time spent with your boo. see? it evens out. =)
random.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
it all started with a theory.
an oldie but a goodie that is very much the song of the moment right now. wait. what? did i just say that? =P
the first of the month
a gemini's horoscope today:
"Sizing Up Potential Soulmates"
Focus on an exciting individual. Companionship possibilities arise; look for the best offer and remember that you are in control of such things today. Ask a friend how he or she would envision a soulmate for you – the answer will be shocking.
asian youtube videoke of the day:
"Sizing Up Potential Soulmates"
Focus on an exciting individual. Companionship possibilities arise; look for the best offer and remember that you are in control of such things today. Ask a friend how he or she would envision a soulmate for you – the answer will be shocking.
asian youtube videoke of the day:
Monday, June 30, 2008
time to get crackin'
motivation comes from within. no matter what advice you receive, the actual action whether good or bad is made by you and you alone. choices are made at your discretion. the blame, if the results are not beneficial to you in a positive way, is solely on you. make the wise decision... whatever the case may be. it's not what happens to you that is the most important, it's how you react to it that is vital.
and, that is me being yoda. i say good day.
and, that is me being yoda. i say good day.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
turning deuces
i knew 2008 would bring me new things, situations, friends, and some fortune (maybe not money but other intangible things). and, if you've read my other blogs, this year has given me more motivation to continue looking up and ahead.
though, a party bus didn't exactly happen as it was planned the weekend before my birthday, all went well. friends and family came through in the clutch, and i'm just glad we made the most out of the night at Ritual in Hollywood. Thanks everyone! Even though I didn't even get to see my CSUF people, I appreciate you guys coming out for Gwen and I.
the night before my birthday I decided to be like Obama and give myself a change. so what did i do? i cut my hair! hate it or love it, it'll grow back. everyone's calling it the grown up cut. haha. whatever. mad weird not having to deal with the long hair. but it'll grow back for the winter time.
my friend took me out to dinner at a place called Stevie's in Van Nuys. i must say, i loved the "ambiance". =) if there's one thing other than food that matters to me when i go to restaurants, it's the music. i think they stole my r&b playlist somehow and started playing it when i got there. creole dining. yum!
friday night, i had dinner with erica and my mom at island's in long beach. and, after i headed to l.a. to pick up tambs and meet up charms, paul, mary, hata, and hata's two friends at LAX. warning: do not drink Strong Islands back to back. very bad idea. thanks charms! jerk. juuust kidding. thanks tambs, hata, paul, and mary for coming out.
so what's there to look forward to after 22? i'm guessing the year of 25 so my insurance is lower. hahaha. no, no. i've discussed this with cf. when i turn 24, i'll be traveling around europe for two weeks (june 16-30,2010). oh yeah and...
May 15, 2010 <-- my graduation date. two years will fly by with working full-time and going to school full-time. but nonetheless, i'm gonna finish. year of the dimes, baby! better believe i'm deckin' out my cap and gown with such nonsense. =) i'm not ready to pay back my college loans anyway.
though, a party bus didn't exactly happen as it was planned the weekend before my birthday, all went well. friends and family came through in the clutch, and i'm just glad we made the most out of the night at Ritual in Hollywood. Thanks everyone! Even though I didn't even get to see my CSUF people, I appreciate you guys coming out for Gwen and I.
the night before my birthday I decided to be like Obama and give myself a change. so what did i do? i cut my hair! hate it or love it, it'll grow back. everyone's calling it the grown up cut. haha. whatever. mad weird not having to deal with the long hair. but it'll grow back for the winter time.
my friend took me out to dinner at a place called Stevie's in Van Nuys. i must say, i loved the "ambiance". =) if there's one thing other than food that matters to me when i go to restaurants, it's the music. i think they stole my r&b playlist somehow and started playing it when i got there. creole dining. yum!
friday night, i had dinner with erica and my mom at island's in long beach. and, after i headed to l.a. to pick up tambs and meet up charms, paul, mary, hata, and hata's two friends at LAX. warning: do not drink Strong Islands back to back. very bad idea. thanks charms! jerk. juuust kidding. thanks tambs, hata, paul, and mary for coming out.
so what's there to look forward to after 22? i'm guessing the year of 25 so my insurance is lower. hahaha. no, no. i've discussed this with cf. when i turn 24, i'll be traveling around europe for two weeks (june 16-30,2010). oh yeah and...
May 15, 2010 <-- my graduation date. two years will fly by with working full-time and going to school full-time. but nonetheless, i'm gonna finish. year of the dimes, baby! better believe i'm deckin' out my cap and gown with such nonsense. =) i'm not ready to pay back my college loans anyway.
leagues
so would thinking someone's way out of your league stop you from pursuing them? or vice versa? would having someone think you're way out of their league stop you from looking their way? why have leagues? if it's there, it's there. assuming we know what "it" is. i would think "it" is the connection that draws you to another person; be it attraction physically or mentally.
leagues. leagues are levels. levels of maturity, responsibility, goals, aspirations, values, beliefs, hobbies, interests, dislikes, etc. that represent you or that you represent. others may be on your "level", close to it, far from it, or just on a different plank. this doesn't quite mean that you're superior or inferior to someone else or masses of people. this is just where you are at the present moment. that wraps up the "nice way" of looking at it.
anyways, i was going to elaborate more on this. but i lost my train of thought. ah well. i'll get back to this, but you can comment if you'd like. =)
leagues. leagues are levels. levels of maturity, responsibility, goals, aspirations, values, beliefs, hobbies, interests, dislikes, etc. that represent you or that you represent. others may be on your "level", close to it, far from it, or just on a different plank. this doesn't quite mean that you're superior or inferior to someone else or masses of people. this is just where you are at the present moment. that wraps up the "nice way" of looking at it.
anyways, i was going to elaborate more on this. but i lost my train of thought. ah well. i'll get back to this, but you can comment if you'd like. =)
Saturday, June 21, 2008
pinch me
i have that smile going on where i'm resting my chin in the palm of my right hand with my elbow resting up on a table and adding a sigh along with it.
what a genuine, pleasant surprise.
what a genuine, pleasant surprise.
Monday, June 9, 2008
my trip to d.c.
i didn't have internet when i was there, but i found time to type up a textedit in my free time. enjoy what i have so far. =)
june 3rd, tuesday:
so i didn't sleep today. i had dinner and QT with cf before i headed home last night to start packing. yea yea, i know... last minute packing? yup. it was basic. i knew i had to bring three business suits and i had all that, so it was just in the matter of getting pajamas and a couple other things. usually i overpack, but for this trip i had to condense. like, REALLY condense. and it was a success. =) anyhow, i stayed up until i boarded the plane because i thought it would be pointless if i knocked out at 2am when i was supposed to head to the airport at 3:45 or 4am. my mom brings me to the airport and i bid her adieu. so i get there when the workers are barely starting their shift and i'm chillin' in the waiting area. time didn't drag and it was 6am pretty quick. once i got on the plane and buckled my seatbelt, i immediately knocked out. no drink or snacks for me, no siree. i usually knock out on a plane if i'm traveling alone so this isn't new. i'm pretty sure i was freaking out the lady next to me because i kept bobbing my head and leaning towards her. i had the window to my left, so at least i wasn't bugging two people. everytime i bobbed my head hard, i woke up for a little and i would notice the woman next to me leaning further away from me. funny, but i was mad tired and couldn't help it. what can i say?
touched down in minneapolis, where it was raining and i had to catch another flight. as i was walking through the airport, i noticed one of those huge vending machines. the way companies are trying to utilize their creative, strategic plans are getting a bit more interesting. this particular vending machine had sets of proactiv solution. no electronics, no snacks, no refreshments... but skincare products. interesting. minneapolis must be breaking out.
so i hop on the next plane and knock out again. this time, i had the middle seat. karma. haha. oh well! i knocked out again and did the whole bobbing my head/leaning towards my neighbors thing. again, what can i say? i'm tired! i wake up right before we touch down in washington d.c. and i see the white house, lincoln memorial, and the monument as we lightly land at the reagan int'l airport right next to the potomac river. awesome. i get my luggage (shout to cf for the tumi loan) and head to the restroom to change into business suit/skirt #1. i walk to the metro and hop on. convenient, public, cheap transportation. everyone is in business attire. from the airport all the way to where i needed to go. only makes sense since it's the nation's capitol and every politician's meeting ground.
anyhow, i follow the instructions that were emailed to me and had to ask a lady for a certain street in which she was so kind to direct me. fortunately, the building i had to go to was right next to the metro station i got off on. once i got in, i put my luggage and briefcase to the side, grabbed my intern badge, met with the program manager, put aside the goodie bag the foundation so generously put together for all of the interns and headed to the h'oure d'ourves. haha don't ask or comment me if i spelled that right, because i have no idea. i was just trying to take a stab at it. at this welcoming reception, i met a handful of people. i introduced myself to some of the other interns who, i must say, have incredible opportunities with the companies that they have internships with through this foundation we all are privileged to be apart of (i.e. Rainbow Media, TruTV, DirecTV, ESPN, Comcast, Lifetime Network, YES television, Fox, HBO, Qualcomm, and the list goes on).
I was in such a rush to get to the building that when I did get inside and headed to the food i actually bumped into the NBC President of Network Distribution and Partnerships. I said a quick hello and briefly looked at his nametag while he looked at mine, but i drew a blank to ask him questions and make my mark right then and there since i had a plate and serving spoon in hand that he briefly said hello and noticed that i'll be an NBC intern (it says my name, 2008 intern, and the company i'm interning for on my badge). he asked me where i would be interning at and i said LA. i asked him what city he's based in and he said New York. then it was that awkward "ok you don't questions for me i'm going to move on" type of deal and what do you know... he was on his merry way to engage in a conversation with someone else. DAAAAAAMN it! ahhh, i can't dwell. it's ok. i have his contact information somewhere, i have to have it. i hope. damn, if i have a contact in New York... Ooo wee. SMH SMH SMH. =)
so after meeting with the other c/o 2008 interns and a few big wigs. all of the interns head to the George Washington University dorms. we all settle in our dorms and since i've been sleeping all day and tired. i knock out. it was raining outside so it wasn't exactly a good night to go out and plus i needed my rest. all i heard was thunder anyhow. and it was my roommate's 21st birthday, but she went out with a friend and i knocked out again.
june 4th, wednesday:
woke up at 6:30am; got ready; business suit #2; loaded the bus by 8am. we headed to d.c.'s BET headquarters for Orientation. this was the listening day which was pretty cool because there were speakers in the industry who gave us some insight and motivation. took a tour of the BET Headquarters, so i got the chance to see what was aired in different time zones throughout the country from west to east.
after this day was through, we had dinner at espn zone. some of the girls and i walked around downtown real quick but then the weather got nasty so we hailed a cab back to the dorms. in lieu of my roomie's birthday, a couple of the girls and i walk to a pub to celebrate. Happy birthday Teccara! we had good girl bonding time. we headed back to the dorms and i chit chatted away a bit. =) then headed off to bed for another orientation day.
and this is where i break it down shorter because frankly i don't think you'd care much for what else happened at the orientation. But, just know that i learned a few great things here and there, met some great people, and was just glad to be out there for this great opportunity.
june 5th, thursday:
after our orientation, we had a rooftop pizza party which was cool to end the trip with or at least the orientation part. afterwards, we all split up in groups and walked back to GWU. on our way back, we walked past the white house but didn't say hi to Bush. pause. i chilled out and got ready to go night site seeing; lincoln memorial, washington monument, WWII memorial. AUGH... sigh. beautiful. people weren't lying when they told me to see the sites at night. absolutely serene. perfect weather. no rain or thunder. the girls and i hailed a cab and headed back to the dorms. when we got there, i didn't want to call it a night just yet so i headed down the street to a bar called Tonic. i met up with a few guys in the foundation and kicked it with them to watch the finals highlights of Game 1 with the lakers and boston. after that bar closed we hopped to another place called Lindy's Pub & Grill. very homebody-ish places. try it some time. afterwards, we headed back to GWU dorms and chit chatted. good night that was. good night. =)
june 6th, friday:
everyone's leaving. barely got to say bye to everyone that i met, but we all assured each other of adding each other on the space or facebook. i woke up early to walk my roomie downstairs. and what was supposed to be a walk to the metro ended up being a few steps away to a cab that she shared with another intern. worked out good. i went back up stairs and knocked out. after i fully got up and ready, i said bye to some good people and hung out with a couple of the girls whose flights were later. we had lunch and headed to Georgetown to see how the shops were. annnnd yea, not fun nor crackin'. kim and i headed to the airport early. my flight AAALLLMOST got cancelled but fortunately or unfortunately just got delayed 40 minutes.
finally, i touch down in l.a. at 11:40pm. HOME! erica picked me up but then we went to mai tai's to meet back up with folks and then went to bonanza for some spam, eggs, and rice. great food to come home to. hahaha. definitely the biz.
and that about sums up my trip to d.c. i'm DEFINITELY looking forward to this summer and keeping in touch with people i met in d.c.
T.Howard c/o 2008... ya diiig!?
june 3rd, tuesday:
so i didn't sleep today. i had dinner and QT with cf before i headed home last night to start packing. yea yea, i know... last minute packing? yup. it was basic. i knew i had to bring three business suits and i had all that, so it was just in the matter of getting pajamas and a couple other things. usually i overpack, but for this trip i had to condense. like, REALLY condense. and it was a success. =) anyhow, i stayed up until i boarded the plane because i thought it would be pointless if i knocked out at 2am when i was supposed to head to the airport at 3:45 or 4am. my mom brings me to the airport and i bid her adieu. so i get there when the workers are barely starting their shift and i'm chillin' in the waiting area. time didn't drag and it was 6am pretty quick. once i got on the plane and buckled my seatbelt, i immediately knocked out. no drink or snacks for me, no siree. i usually knock out on a plane if i'm traveling alone so this isn't new. i'm pretty sure i was freaking out the lady next to me because i kept bobbing my head and leaning towards her. i had the window to my left, so at least i wasn't bugging two people. everytime i bobbed my head hard, i woke up for a little and i would notice the woman next to me leaning further away from me. funny, but i was mad tired and couldn't help it. what can i say?
touched down in minneapolis, where it was raining and i had to catch another flight. as i was walking through the airport, i noticed one of those huge vending machines. the way companies are trying to utilize their creative, strategic plans are getting a bit more interesting. this particular vending machine had sets of proactiv solution. no electronics, no snacks, no refreshments... but skincare products. interesting. minneapolis must be breaking out.
so i hop on the next plane and knock out again. this time, i had the middle seat. karma. haha. oh well! i knocked out again and did the whole bobbing my head/leaning towards my neighbors thing. again, what can i say? i'm tired! i wake up right before we touch down in washington d.c. and i see the white house, lincoln memorial, and the monument as we lightly land at the reagan int'l airport right next to the potomac river. awesome. i get my luggage (shout to cf for the tumi loan) and head to the restroom to change into business suit/skirt #1. i walk to the metro and hop on. convenient, public, cheap transportation. everyone is in business attire. from the airport all the way to where i needed to go. only makes sense since it's the nation's capitol and every politician's meeting ground.
anyhow, i follow the instructions that were emailed to me and had to ask a lady for a certain street in which she was so kind to direct me. fortunately, the building i had to go to was right next to the metro station i got off on. once i got in, i put my luggage and briefcase to the side, grabbed my intern badge, met with the program manager, put aside the goodie bag the foundation so generously put together for all of the interns and headed to the h'oure d'ourves. haha don't ask or comment me if i spelled that right, because i have no idea. i was just trying to take a stab at it. at this welcoming reception, i met a handful of people. i introduced myself to some of the other interns who, i must say, have incredible opportunities with the companies that they have internships with through this foundation we all are privileged to be apart of (i.e. Rainbow Media, TruTV, DirecTV, ESPN, Comcast, Lifetime Network, YES television, Fox, HBO, Qualcomm, and the list goes on).
I was in such a rush to get to the building that when I did get inside and headed to the food i actually bumped into the NBC President of Network Distribution and Partnerships. I said a quick hello and briefly looked at his nametag while he looked at mine, but i drew a blank to ask him questions and make my mark right then and there since i had a plate and serving spoon in hand that he briefly said hello and noticed that i'll be an NBC intern (it says my name, 2008 intern, and the company i'm interning for on my badge). he asked me where i would be interning at and i said LA. i asked him what city he's based in and he said New York. then it was that awkward "ok you don't questions for me i'm going to move on" type of deal and what do you know... he was on his merry way to engage in a conversation with someone else. DAAAAAAMN it! ahhh, i can't dwell. it's ok. i have his contact information somewhere, i have to have it. i hope. damn, if i have a contact in New York... Ooo wee. SMH SMH SMH. =)
so after meeting with the other c/o 2008 interns and a few big wigs. all of the interns head to the George Washington University dorms. we all settle in our dorms and since i've been sleeping all day and tired. i knock out. it was raining outside so it wasn't exactly a good night to go out and plus i needed my rest. all i heard was thunder anyhow. and it was my roommate's 21st birthday, but she went out with a friend and i knocked out again.
june 4th, wednesday:
woke up at 6:30am; got ready; business suit #2; loaded the bus by 8am. we headed to d.c.'s BET headquarters for Orientation. this was the listening day which was pretty cool because there were speakers in the industry who gave us some insight and motivation. took a tour of the BET Headquarters, so i got the chance to see what was aired in different time zones throughout the country from west to east.
after this day was through, we had dinner at espn zone. some of the girls and i walked around downtown real quick but then the weather got nasty so we hailed a cab back to the dorms. in lieu of my roomie's birthday, a couple of the girls and i walk to a pub to celebrate. Happy birthday Teccara! we had good girl bonding time. we headed back to the dorms and i chit chatted away a bit. =) then headed off to bed for another orientation day.
and this is where i break it down shorter because frankly i don't think you'd care much for what else happened at the orientation. But, just know that i learned a few great things here and there, met some great people, and was just glad to be out there for this great opportunity.
june 5th, thursday:
after our orientation, we had a rooftop pizza party which was cool to end the trip with or at least the orientation part. afterwards, we all split up in groups and walked back to GWU. on our way back, we walked past the white house but didn't say hi to Bush. pause. i chilled out and got ready to go night site seeing; lincoln memorial, washington monument, WWII memorial. AUGH... sigh. beautiful. people weren't lying when they told me to see the sites at night. absolutely serene. perfect weather. no rain or thunder. the girls and i hailed a cab and headed back to the dorms. when we got there, i didn't want to call it a night just yet so i headed down the street to a bar called Tonic. i met up with a few guys in the foundation and kicked it with them to watch the finals highlights of Game 1 with the lakers and boston. after that bar closed we hopped to another place called Lindy's Pub & Grill. very homebody-ish places. try it some time. afterwards, we headed back to GWU dorms and chit chatted. good night that was. good night. =)
june 6th, friday:
everyone's leaving. barely got to say bye to everyone that i met, but we all assured each other of adding each other on the space or facebook. i woke up early to walk my roomie downstairs. and what was supposed to be a walk to the metro ended up being a few steps away to a cab that she shared with another intern. worked out good. i went back up stairs and knocked out. after i fully got up and ready, i said bye to some good people and hung out with a couple of the girls whose flights were later. we had lunch and headed to Georgetown to see how the shops were. annnnd yea, not fun nor crackin'. kim and i headed to the airport early. my flight AAALLLMOST got cancelled but fortunately or unfortunately just got delayed 40 minutes.
finally, i touch down in l.a. at 11:40pm. HOME! erica picked me up but then we went to mai tai's to meet back up with folks and then went to bonanza for some spam, eggs, and rice. great food to come home to. hahaha. definitely the biz.
and that about sums up my trip to d.c. i'm DEFINITELY looking forward to this summer and keeping in touch with people i met in d.c.
T.Howard c/o 2008... ya diiig!?
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
do you remember...?
brother's always on point with bringing back these music vids. hulksmasssshtime.
**please don't mind the first few seconds.
**please don't mind the first few seconds.
and i'm off...
i'm off to d.c. and even though i'll be back on friday i feel as if i'm leaving for a long time. but, i think it's because this is an important step. it may not be a big deal to other people, but to me it means a lot. if something great (other than the whole experience) is offered to me at the end of this, i can't even imagine what i'd do. it's nice to know and hear how people are proud of me because i don't hear those words so often even though i know i'm working hard. thank you, if you've said that to me in the past few months... it helps me get through my days.
today, i called my dad to remind him that i was leaving. and, though my dad isn't a man of many words, he said it. "i'm proud of you, honey." and as much as i wish that he would have been more like how he is now back then, i can't help but feel like i have to prove something to him to this day. not in a vengeful way, but in a way where (regardless of the circumstance) he can be proud yet realize the way he contributed was by leaving. this may sound confusing but don't get me wrong, i love my dad even through the roller coaster he put our family through. part of me wishes he'd admit to his faults and apologize, but the other half of me knows that that's never going to happen and it's way too late for that anyway. but, pride gets in the way of people sometimes and that's the reality of it.
showing happy emotions are like winning the lottery for filipino moms. it happens once in a while and when it does, it comes as a shocker. i know my mom's proud of me; but ask me how many times i hear her say it, i don't know. i'm not looking for sympathy or pity, it just came to mind today. i'm not sad or emo either. this is just how i see it.
...just one of those days where i'm slowing down only to catch up. if that makes any sense whatsoever.
and i'm OUT!!! see ya in the big leagues! ;)
i love you guys... a lot, a lot, and always, always...
today, i called my dad to remind him that i was leaving. and, though my dad isn't a man of many words, he said it. "i'm proud of you, honey." and as much as i wish that he would have been more like how he is now back then, i can't help but feel like i have to prove something to him to this day. not in a vengeful way, but in a way where (regardless of the circumstance) he can be proud yet realize the way he contributed was by leaving. this may sound confusing but don't get me wrong, i love my dad even through the roller coaster he put our family through. part of me wishes he'd admit to his faults and apologize, but the other half of me knows that that's never going to happen and it's way too late for that anyway. but, pride gets in the way of people sometimes and that's the reality of it.
showing happy emotions are like winning the lottery for filipino moms. it happens once in a while and when it does, it comes as a shocker. i know my mom's proud of me; but ask me how many times i hear her say it, i don't know. i'm not looking for sympathy or pity, it just came to mind today. i'm not sad or emo either. this is just how i see it.
...just one of those days where i'm slowing down only to catch up. if that makes any sense whatsoever.
and i'm OUT!!! see ya in the big leagues! ;)
i love you guys... a lot, a lot, and always, always...
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