oh hell no

now, you know they're lyin'. false advertisement. smfh. how could you?!

cause i needed some eargasms

ahaha i said "eargasm". (shivers) weird. anyhow, enjoy some good music.

a refresher

went to amel's show last night. sigh. a-freakin'-mazing.

don't test me

there will always be people, places, and things that will try to distract you from keeping your focus (whether with school, work, goals, etc.). it's inevitable. to be continued...

Oh, how 4 years have passed...

This picture was taken yesterday at the Carl's Jr. On campus at CSUF. I was killing time in between classes because I got out of one class really early after a quiz and my next class wasn't until a half hour later. Anyhow, it had just been remodeled and looks better now than it did before but with less seating. It also got me to thinking about my freshman year. I used to go here for any of the following:

-sit and do homework or study until my next class

-eat the cheapest thing on the menu

-meet up the crew and shoot the shit

-sit and text to kill time



I do remember having psych 101 class with a cute guy at night, who sat behind me all the time. We ditched class once so we can go to the TSU to shoot pool because he thought I was all talk... Anyway, showed him up. Another time, we didn't want to stay in class so we ended up jetting at break (mind you, it was a 3 hour class). He asked me if I wanted to eat with him here (at carl's jr.) for dinner and I said "no it's okay". Doh! That was a chance right there. Silly me. I wonder what he's doing now. Ah well, moving forward.



Funny and interesting how we lose track of time. We keep pushing forward and leave it all behind, without realizing it. Ever wonder where our old memories go once we gain new ones? I do. I feel like school's going to drag on so much longer than I want it to, but I know before I know it... These days will be gone sooner than I think they'll be. This routine of balancing school and work will turn into balancing work and personal life. Huh, whaddyunno a personal life again. Anyway, good memories in these past four years. More good than bad, but good nonetheless.



Just the way I see it..



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anonymous

"i found myself feeling and seeing that i was going the extra mile, step, or whatever...and putting a little bit more effort than any of the guys i've met in this past year... and i don't want to be chased or do the chasing. i don't want to be pursued or pursue someone. i want to meet halfway. and i have yet to meet someone who's willing to and wants the same in return."

oh, q-tip! =) sigh.

if i can bob my head and sway to a song, smh...smile...sigh...exhale. what more can i say?

Everywhere you go, there's mastercard.

Gas $40
Lunch $15
Dinner $25
Parking ticket $30
Total Weekend visit =$110
KOs = priceless

Smfh.
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Get more, Expect nothing.

For someone who tallks a whole lot about moving forward, not focusing on the negative, surrounding yourself with positive things, people yadda yadda and getting your shit straight before anything else... I can't help but let my feelings and thoughts get the best of me sometimes. I haven't had a good cry in a while and I hate the feeling. Guess it's being human; Can't be a robot all the time.

For the past week or so, I've heard this thought a couple of times... "Positive thoughts will bring positive things." Gosh, I know this but why can't I keep this focus ALL the time? Fuuuuccccckkk. This is gay. And I fight this feeling of actually "having" feelings because I hate to feel weak. And having feelings are, in a way, being weak. It's a matter of having something bring me down. And I don't want to be down. Stone cold? Bahh. I have selective people in my life who can feel me on this low-feeling level and not tear me up even more but just "listen". Not say shit, just listen. Anybody want to help me catch a flight to seattle? San fran? Anybody?

I find myself in the same position or state of mind where I don't want to be. Yep, I definitely don't want to be here. In this state of mind. But, thanks to kuya I, this is called "venting". Ha, I actually have shit to vent about again? Who would've thought?

Without being so revealing, I'm tired of being tired and I don't want to play anymore. Game's over.
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Where in the world...

...Am I? Hehehe. Working on my ad presentation for next week and the weather is gloomy but cool at the same time.
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