passion

how many people can honestly say they are passionate on what they do? how many people can say they wake up to be glad to go to work? i'm not gonna lie. i tell people "ahhh i have work tomorrow morning... then i have school... then it's repetitious".

today i got reminded of why i'm still with the program that i work with and for. sometimes, sorry, OFTEN TIMES i get caught up with every element that makes up my life that i forget what the hell i'm doing myself. i work for Friday Night Live and i'm PROUD of that. i'm so proud of that to a point where i can present what it's all about, who it's for, how it works, why it works, and why i absolutely love the whole concept of it so down to a "t" it boggles me how it can even be explained through words. even if i land a job with a great agency in the multimedia industry, i love the fact that i have worked with a program so far beyond everyone else. i look at my resume and i'm impressed myself.

in high school, i was a freshman when i heard about this group called the Youth Council Voice Connection for Riverside County. i didn't realize then how much being a part of a group like this would change my life. my views. and take me out of this box. a box that i only knew. that i only associated myself with. i met a tremendous amount of people, seen people grow, and respect the world that much more with every day that's given to me.

I can't exactly explain what I do all in one blog because basically it's all comprised of chunks of this and that. but all that comes to mind are words: youth development, drug prevention, youth EMPOWERMENT, public speaking, leadership skills, build youth and adult partnerships. you would honestly have to follow me around for about a whole school year (august-june) to understand what i do.

So when I was a freshman, my sister and brother in law's friend introduced me to the Youth Council and I immediately gained interest. Here were 6 other high school students whom I've never met before at this meeting in a County of Riverside building at 4:30pm on a Wednesday night. We were at this table and we were given an opportunity to go to a conference in Stockton, California. I thought to myself "what the hell is a conference? and why us?" Key word: OPPORTUNITY. Not everyone gets to attend conferences and it's not often where students are asked "so what are you thinking" or "what do you want to do" or "what's going on in your school that you wish was different". And not often is it that as a youth you're given a chance to answer these questions when we are in so dire need of voicing our opinions. So anyway, we start going to these events, asking these questions, discussing it with more people, bridging the gap between adults and youth, build our public speaking skills as an extra, and get things off our CHEST. wow. i can do that? you mean... i can go to these meetings every other week with these other people that i'm starting to click with. and all i have to do is say what i want, what i think, what i can do to be that change that everyone so often talks about yet does nothing about it? but I CAN do something? are you serious? well, i'm IN! sold! And from there, the fire started.

With no father in the household, with a mother whose stress level is sky high, and with supportive sisters who i love all so dearly and i would sacrifice my life before having them leave this earth for... growing up, i was the observer. i didn't say shit. i watched my sisters fight. i've watched my parents fight. i've seen my dad cheat on my mom. i've seen and been through shit that no one should EVER go through. i've seen shit happen at such a young age; it's sad to say that it's happening to a lot more people in this world everyday. i never used to be the vocal person. i never thought my opinion mattered. heck, i didn't even think i had an opinion. and this mentality is framed at 6th grade. i didn't start actually changing all this until i got into the youth council.

sure, i was in asb and i was president in middle school. but, really?! that doesn't mean shit. yes, i can organize. i can plan. i can think of great ideas. but i was always behind the scenes, doing all of those things that i didn't get much credit for as long as it was done and completed. i would have a task/objective and finish it. simple. then i realized, i want to do something that makes me proud. so i took issues that i felt were important in high school, the community, or the world and started bringing out that opinion through this youth council. i started speaking on youth panels, conducting workshops, educating adults about what the youth at the time are experiencing first hand, going to statewide conferences, interviewing state officials, and simply voicing out my opinion... all at the age of 16. i'm DAMN proud of myself and if you don't give me a cookie, i don't give a damn because i'm eating all the cookies i want.

the fact that i was given the opportunity as a youth to basically make lemonade with the lemon that was thrown to me gives me a tremendous amount of gratitude that i have for ivan for introducing me to a program that i knew was there but had so much set up for me to take advantage of.

after high school and some bullshit jobs, i worked for County of Riverside Friday Night Live as a Student Aide to Friday Night Live Kids chapters (which are elementary students; usually at 4th-5th grade). i was there for almost two years and then after financial situations, i had to move to long beach. FORTUNATELY, i had another opportunity to work for Friday Night Live but in Orange County. The FNL program is a statewide program and is in all counties except for ONE. There are 58 counties in California. IMAGINE? I took it at the drop of a dime.

I absolutely love what I do. Working with youth has brought about a passion I didn't know I had. there have been days where i wanted to give up because some of the youth i work with have lost the hope that they could be great potential to anything. i try every day at work to empower the youth i work with to acknowledge the fact that they can do something they love. and i know they get sidetracked with a whole lot of immature bullshit that they shouldn't even care about. but even i get sidetracked at the fact that this is something they will eventually learn and all i can do is encourage them to make the right decisions in their lives and learn from everything they go through. because after all, we all learn the hard way. we ALL learn the hard way.

one of the greatest women i've ever worked with, being in this program, once told me: "Stephanie, don't let them break you. don't EVER let them break you." and i repeat this to myself every time i have an inch of doubt in any endeavor or task i try to complete. i love her for this.

i am passionate about what i do. and, i can't wait 'til you feel the same way about what you do as a career or anything else in life.

signing out because it's like THAT... and that's the way it is.