Get more, Expect nothing.

For someone who tallks a whole lot about moving forward, not focusing on the negative, surrounding yourself with positive things, people yadda yadda and getting your shit straight before anything else... I can't help but let my feelings and thoughts get the best of me sometimes. I haven't had a good cry in a while and I hate the feeling. Guess it's being human; Can't be a robot all the time.

For the past week or so, I've heard this thought a couple of times... "Positive thoughts will bring positive things." Gosh, I know this but why can't I keep this focus ALL the time? Fuuuuccccckkk. This is gay. And I fight this feeling of actually "having" feelings because I hate to feel weak. And having feelings are, in a way, being weak. It's a matter of having something bring me down. And I don't want to be down. Stone cold? Bahh. I have selective people in my life who can feel me on this low-feeling level and not tear me up even more but just "listen". Not say shit, just listen. Anybody want to help me catch a flight to seattle? San fran? Anybody?

I find myself in the same position or state of mind where I don't want to be. Yep, I definitely don't want to be here. In this state of mind. But, thanks to kuya I, this is called "venting". Ha, I actually have shit to vent about again? Who would've thought?

Without being so revealing, I'm tired of being tired and I don't want to play anymore. Game's over.
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Where in the world...

...Am I? Hehehe. Working on my ad presentation for next week and the weather is gloomy but cool at the same time.
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Ain't this about a biiiii...

So after class at 950am, I spill coffee on my white tee. Smfh. Really?!
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Let's make this a habit.

This is what I see as of right now. It's friday! 8:33am at csuf's sgmh building. I'm waiting for class to start. Dude to my right, sitting diagonal from me is knocked out as well as five other people in this new lounge area. Sgmh is pretty nice actually; especially when it opens the cafe and juice bar. Thumbs up with our fees going to more places to spend other money we don't have at and parking spaces that fill up by 830am...which means we have to wake up extra early to get to school and wait an hour for class to start. Sarcastic, I am. At any rate, I'm spending my "waiting" time reading a book for my thursday night class (idea industry: how to crack the advertising code by brett robbs & deborah morrison...there's a plug for you with a wink and the gun). Not your usual textbook really. But good insight from people in the actual industry. There's a must do list in the creative chapter and one of the must-do's was to take a picture everyday and post it to a blog or your flickr. Well, whaddya know? This definitely makes having a berry come in handy and will give me something to do and look forward to. It'll help me be a better observer and get some creative juices flowing.

Yup,
Steph
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I feel...

Zombie-like!!! I'm not complaining because i signed up for the work-your-ass-off schedule between juggling school and work, both full-time (for those who don't know me). I miss NBC and the work environment. Random thoughts: too busy for a thing called a relationship with the opposite sex, I think that's called a boyfriend. It would be nice though. But ah well, Yahweh. Blah. This week I've lacked on sleep. Suuuper lacked on sleep. I need to wake up at 7am everyday. Working on it. Meeting with the asst dean of comm at school this morning went well. She asked if I was interested in being a featured student writer for the titan communique (CSUF college of comm newsletter). A page about me being a part of the t. Howard foundation. And possibly hosting a recruitment event open to all majors and informing them on how to apply. Which would totally work out because I'm set to be an ambassador for the foundation, in hopes to recruit and bring more prospective students to grab hold of the opportunities THF offers. I need to pick up sister at 1130ish in the P-M.. And I changed my schedule tomorrow so that I come in at 11am because I really need to catch up on sleep. What I need to remind myself off of the events and activities that occured this week:



Don't waste time, be productive. Plan wisely and plan period. Failing to plan is planning to fail. Everytime you're not working towards bettering yourself, someone else is shitting on your life.



A few words from brother...

Get with it, or get the fuck out. Don't fuck with anybody not fucking with your movement.

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BuzzCuts Video Player

Sunday, Sept. 7.. waited for 7 hours to be at this performance. can you see us? i didn't think so. hahaha. geez.

beezies

So as I wait with marc,mike,len,tiff, raf and christina to hop on to a school bus to some secret location for a VMA performance... I see about 75% of these breezies dressed like they're going to a club or to an after party. I don't think they thought this through at all. Four-five hours standing on foot with 2-4 inch heels on isn't worth the calluses (spell check), bubble blisters, and fucked up tootsie roll toes that won't go away for 3 weeks. I don't know about any other females but... Seriously? It's a show where they just need people filling in the audiences. They're not gonna see your bottom half and I highly doubt they're going to bring you back to their hotel rooms. Wear some whack ass flats or some gay ass flip flops for all I care. I'm just saying for your own comfort. Don't complain either. No one dressed you but yourself. Hahaha. Hating? I wouldn't call it that. I'm bored, which is the best time to talk shit. Actually, the only time to talk shit. Don't act like you don't. Hahaha my cousin would call it "people watching".

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I was at my uncle's house and they busted out the magic mic, it got me thinking though. Why are these karaoke videos so irrelevant to each song? It's either trains like these in the background or some 80s chick (asian or white) in the rain or some gloomy ass day. Anybody else know what I'm talking about?
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I like this car... A lot.
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preach!

"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not fact, it's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration, it's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is NOTHING"

-Anonymous